I had amnesia once -- or twice. ***** Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. ***** I am neither for nor against apathy. ***** All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. ***** If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. ***** What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? ***** They told me I was gullible and I believed them. ***** Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. ****** Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. ***** One nice thing about egotists ... They don't talk about other people. ***** My weight is perfect for my height ... Which varies. ***** I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure. ***** The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. ***** How can there be self-help groups? ***** Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. ***** Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?